my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize