So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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