Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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