Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
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I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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