Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize