Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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