ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize