I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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