Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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