What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize