Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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