i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize