Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
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got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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