fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize