9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize