you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
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I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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