I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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