I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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