I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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