I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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