i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize