I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
tell me about the eggs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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