Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize