and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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