Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize