im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize