i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize