he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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