The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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