If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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