I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize