so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
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The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
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In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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