she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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