im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize