I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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