I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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