I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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