so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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