Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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