it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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