your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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