Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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