He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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