You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
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Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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