Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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