Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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