You can't motorboat a personality
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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