Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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