I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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