I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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