you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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