you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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