You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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